We hear it in our yoga classes and enrichment workshops, we read it in books, and we see it on inspirational posters: “Let It Go” – the simple phrase that tells us the answer to finding peace and balance. Easy right? Now if we can just figure out how to do it we’ll be like those peaceful monks in no time! So we dive into reading more books and meditating every day only to discover that we’re stressing out more trying so hard to let things go! Something’s not right with this picture. Today I’m telling you from my heart that there is peace in letting go, but in order to do so, we must let go of letting go (Hmm Yoda moment!). Bare with me here, it will make sense, I promise. You see, when our books and mentors are telling us to let go, they’re really telling us NOT to do anything at all; that’s the beauty of it! It’s not a new project we have to take on, and it’s not something that’s meant to require a whole lot of energy. In fact, when we become masters of “letting go”, we realize that this process is natural and effortless.
We’ll start with what we’re supposed to let go of in the first place…
Letting go is another way of saying “giving up attachment”, which is a concept that can make some people uncomfortable because they feel it means that they’re sacrificing their free will. They think that letting go of attachments means they’re not allowed to want or enjoy good food, nice clothes, and other luxuries. Forget all that – you can still enjoy your chocolate and silk while living a life that’s free of attachments. Instead, think of “attachments” as your ego’s rigid thought patterns that create judgment and expectation. This is what we want to let go of. So often, we hold on to things far beyond their ability to serve us. Our egos replay scenes from our lives that consume us in regret over the past and shroud us with expectations over the future. We become attached to judging how things should be and how WE should be instead of what is and how we are.
It should… = Attachment
It is… = Reality
We fight to control every aspect of our future and ourselves believing that this illusion of control gives us power. But when life doesn’t unfold as we expect, as if often does, we breakdown and start the cycle over again. We become imbalanced and separated from the natural flow of life. So you see, it’s the attachments to judgment and expectation that enslave us – the liberation lies in letting go.
So how do we let go?
In the simplest of terms, letting go comes down to awareness without judgment; to stop trying to force ourselves to be a certain way, think a certain way, or feel a certain way. A lot of people have come to me stating they’re experiencing emotions they don’t like and say “I don’t want to feel ______ any more (anger, sadness, anxiety, guilt etc).” And my response is always the same. What You Resist Will Persist. When we experience the raw emotions like anger and sadness, it’s almost innate to push against it, to judge it, and to judge ourselves for feeling that way because society has told us that these emotions are bad. This is a kind of attachment, because we’re attached how we “should feel” instead of just accepting how we do feel.
When you resist an emotion, you’re actually preventing yourself from processing it, which only perpetuates the emotional state. The truth is you ARE feeling a certain way, and there’s a reason for it. Emotions are valuable carriers of information – all of them – you just need to give yourself the time and space to discover what that emotion is trying to tell you. Be aware of what you’re feeling, identify it, take responsibility for it, feel it fully, observe how it’s affecting you, and allow it to just be. When you allow yourself the time and space process your emotions without judging yourself, it will dissipate naturally and chances are you’ll have created an opportunity for self-discovery and self-transformation.
As you move through life, live in a moment-by-moment state of freedom and fluidity that bares acceptance of life as it is. Move like a wave, allowing life to happen to you just as it is and allow yourself to respond as you are. And that, my friends, is the effortless act of letting go and realizing that we, as authentic beings, are absolutely perfect as we are.
Be Here Now.
Be As You Are.
