As with any program or therapy we use to help ourselves, there is a step-by-step process. The first step is all about identifying and becoming aware of what it is that’s keeping you from being healthy and happy. This is no different when you’re learning to manage stress and help yourself become more resilient to the changes of life. When you’re ready to open yourself up and face it, all you have to do is identify the following: (1) What’s causing you stress? (2) How is it making you feel in body & mind? (3) How would you rather feel? (4) What can be done to achieve that? It almost sounds too simple, perhaps even a bit of a cliché? But lining things out like this enables you to take perspective and see your life in the big picture. An objective mind is a clear mind – a clear mind allows for an open mind – and an open mind is able to transform.
And so, this brings us to Part 2 of the Stress Series, which is learning just that – how to become aware of our stressors, how they are affecting us, and where to go from there.
Some Reminders Before You Begin…
Before we delve deeper into this, remember it’s very easy to get overwhelmed. So very often I see people make stress lists only to become more stressed when we see the daunting list (myself included!). This can put us into the “freeze” state, which only makes things worse. Therefore I urge you to take a moment and remind yourself of a few things…
- It’s completely normal to have a mountain of things that cause you stress – remember it comes from all areas of life. Don’t let that discourage you from moving forward.
- Even though there are steps to take, these are not cookie cutter steps. What works for one person may not work for you. You are a unique and individual being, so how you learn to adapt to change will also be unique. Your job is to find what works for you.
- Remind yourself that when you’re experiencing a heap of stress, it means that you have undergone massive amounts of change in your life, and change means growth. You are growing and you are transforming.
- Be compassionate with yourself. Don’t become your own worst enemy and beat yourself up when you hit a roadblock (which we all will, we’re human). You have the strength to pick yourself back up again and trek on.
- Be patient with yourself. Change rarely happens overnight, and learning to manage stress is not a linear process. It’s multidimensional and therefore takes time. Change is the only reliable constant in this universe, and we will spend our entire lives changing, so it’s only natural that learning to do this smoothly is a life long process as well.
Stress Awareness “Steps”
Now that you can remember not to beat yourself up as you’re trying to manage your stress, we can begin…
- Identify all the things that are causing you stress in your life. If it makes it easier, you can categorize them. Some people prefer to categorize by source (physical, mental/emotional, social etc), others by severity (major, minor, chronic).
- Think about the personal meaning of each of these stressors and how they make you feel. Are there physical effects (insomnia, indigestion)? Are there mental and emotional effects (anxiety, depression, restless mind, negative thoughts)? Are there social effects (arguments, poor productivity, social avoidance)? ***INFORMATION***
- Once you identify specific feelings associated with stress, you can figure out how you’d rather feel. If a stressor is causing you anxiety, replace it with peace. If a stressor is giving you indigestion, replace it with smooth digestion.
- Acknowledge which stressors are in your control to change, and which ones aren’t. Some stressors are within your power to change or eliminate, while others you may just have to learn to better cope with.
- Write out things that are within your power to do to change your life circumstances. Is it within your power to find a new job? Is it within your power to move into a new home? How can you change your diet or exercise regimens?
- Write out how you can better cope with the circumstances that you cannot readily change. How can you have a more harmonious relationship with your partner, family member, friend, or co-worker? How can you cope with chronic pain, or conditions like hypertension and diabetes? How can you cope with the loss of a loved one?
- TAKE ACTION!!!!! Seriously!!! This is the most important step, and it’s often the step that people never get to, or they start and give up. Identifying your stress and becoming aware of it is the first step, and it’s important. But you MUST do the work – you must move forward, and you must not give up!!!
Next week we’ll start looking at specific stress management and relaxation techniques, so stay tuned!
